My Big 5 Digits

Very recently, I achieved 10,000 hits on my blog.

I didn’t write anything to mark the occasion initially because I try to space out my posts to give as much time as possible for my followers to study and meditate on the last one. I’d rather take longer on posts and receive worship feedback and discuss each issue, than just be prolific.

I started this blog back on Myspace as a way to rant over things I felt seriously about. As it became more popular though, I was encouraged by a protégé of mine to use WordPress for my blog. I did, and although the uptake was slow, the blog has really taken off in the last few months, with particular incoming traffic arriving from online Carnivals, fellow bloggers, or search engines. It’s only a matter of time before the Church of Evanescence achieves tax-exempt status (the coming-of-age celebration for any religion), but when that happens, rest assured I will still post articles (just from the comfort of a laptop on my private jet).

As a result of the increase in traffic and feedback, I’ve felt a responsibility to reduce the rants and language, and increase my seriousness and ‘professionalism’, if that’s the right word.

It is a time-consuming endeavour to research and write new articles about three times a week, but it is gratifying to receive comments and feedback, and that makes it worthwhile. After all, if I was just going to churn out regurgitated bilge three times a week to bore everyone, I’d have just named my blog “The Watchtower”.

Not all the feedback has been positive, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve had people praising me, disagreeing with me, making me pull my hair out (you know who you are!), or even calling my blog boring and uninspiring.

It’s not about who agrees with me or not though. What matters is that everyone who’s ever criticised my blog will be tracked down and killed by the Elite Guard of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy. Yes, that means you! We know who you are. Or did you think you could challenge the great Atheist Lie without consequence?!

In an unabashed act of vanity, I’d like to mention some disciples of the Church of Evanescence (the greatest atheist religion in the whole of the EAC, and if you don’t agree you will be torn apart by she-bears). This is my way of giving something back to the little people who will be joining me in the Afterlife of Lesbos, after we drink of the magical elixir known as Dom Est Os:

Spanish Inquisitor ; Darren; Pink Prozac; Cragar; Joe; januarys; polishpress; Geno; D; Jon Featherstone

(I should add now that anyone who comments on my blog is an automatic member of the Church of Evanescence, and indeed the EAC.)

Also, a special thank you to my left-hand-man and Principle Kitten Executioner, Tobe. Proving once and for all that those who drink baby’s blood aren’t all big softies, Tobe’s pedantic proof-reading and grammar correction is a constant source of nightmares, and the most likely cause of a nervous twitch I’ve developed where I blurt out: “it’s ‘I’ve gotten sugar’, not fucking ‘got’!!”, at random intervals in the day. This can be most unfortunate when you’re making your boss a cup of coffee.

Finally, a special thank you to the person who makes all things possible: Satan. Without you, we’d still be living in a paradise, surrounded by beautiful naked women who never age and have no knowledge of right and wrong. You bastard!

EAC

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